


Will You Hold Me Now, Will You Take Me Home

by Miss_Romance_Lover



Category: Emmerdale, robron
Genre: Fluff, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, M/M, Tooth-Rotting Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-19
Updated: 2016-06-19
Packaged: 2018-07-16 01:29:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,582
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7246717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Miss_Romance_Lover/pseuds/Miss_Romance_Lover
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A follow on from their latest scene in the back room of the pub. Aaron takes big steps to move on after everything he's been through, with Robert right by his side. Sometimes Robert needs some support of his own, though. Warning is there for brief direct mentions of child abuse, but nothing graphic.</p><p>Title will be recognised from the very appropriate Take Me Home by Jess Glynne.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Will You Hold Me Now, Will You Take Me Home

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know where this came from or if it's any good, but I got the idea from that "I don't need therapy" joke from Aaron. A big thank you for all the feedback and Kudos on my other stories!

“I don’t need therapy, I’ve got you for that haven’t I?”

Robert’s eyes softened, though he was waiting for Aaron to say more; knowing him, that wasn’t the end of the sentence. And sure enough, the punch line soon followed.

“Any time I’m feeling down I just look at you and think, well it could be worse I could be Robert.” The way Aaron laughed warmed his heart, taking away any annoyance at the joke being made at his expense. It was so good to see him laughing again; there were times where he thought he’d never hear it again. 

Charity returned to the bar, and Robert joined Aaron on the sofa. “You want to go back out there for a pint? Or shall I get a couple of bottles and bring them through?”

“Would you mind? I don’t really fancy joining the party right now.” As fast as the humour had appeared on his face, it was replaced with a weary frown. 

“Hey,” Robert touched his arm. “Your mum will be okay, you know. I know you’re worried but we can always go and see her at the weekend. Or at least, I’ll drive and you can go in and see her.”

Aaron glanced at him in surprise. “You’d do that? Sorry, what am I saying? Of course you’d do that for me. After everything…” he trailed off, lost in thought about all that had happened in the last few months and how Robert had been by his side the whole time.

Robert reached over and stroked the side of his face before standing up to go and get their drinks. “Back in a minute.”

While he was out of the room, Aaron ran a hand over his face, lingering over the area that Robert had just been touching. Even after all this time, the man still had this effect on him. A simple, innocent touch had the ability to make him melt.

He was back in less than the minute he’d promised, handing over one of the beer bottles. “Cheers,” Aaron said with a small smile, taking a swig. “Rob, you know that thing I said just now?”

“What, ‘cheers’?” Robert replied, raising an eyebrow.

“Funny,” he smirked back. “No, the bit about not needing therapy.”

“Because you have me? Yeah, I was quite touched until you finished the joke.”

“Well that’s the thing,” Aaron admitted, looking embarrassed but needing to get this out. “I meant it. Not the joke part, that was…well, Charity was here,” he said as if that explained his reasoning. 

“What are you trying to say, Aaron?” Robert probed gently.

“I’m trying to tell you…” he hesitated, wanting it to sound right. “You’ve kept me going, these last few months. Having you with me, it’s meant everything.”

“Where else was I gonna be, eh? Anyway, you’ve told me before.”

“But not properly,” Aaron protested. “I love you, Robert, and I should have told you sooner.”

He waited for Robert to say something, but the words never came. He seemed to have frozen in his seat. Aaron was aware that what he’d just said was quite momentous for them; he wasn’t worried that the other man didn’t feel the same. Still, he waved a hand in front of his face. 

“Rob? You okay?”

The older man shook himself out of his trance. “Yeah, yeah. Sorry. It’s just been a long time since anyone told me they loved me. And I’ve wanted to hear it from you for so long. I didn’t deserve it for most of that time, though.”

“Well I mean it.”

“So do I. I love you too.”

Aaron kissed him until the need for air became essential. “Sorry I didn’t say it sooner,” he added.

“You’ve had a tough year. Plenty of other things on your mind.”

“So have you,” Aaron pointed out. “It was a lot to deal with, what I told you about my…about Gordon. I know I said I don’t need therapy but I can’t keep putting it all on you when I’m having a bad day.”

“You’re not having a bad day today,” Robert reminded him. “I know you’ve just found out about your mum, but still, you seem so much happier lately.”

“Yeah and I am. But I’m not totally over it yet, and I want to be. So I think I should call my counsellor.”

Aaron found himself staring at the floor once he had said it, until Robert surprised him by reaching for his hand. He linked their fingers together, and Aaron let him, liking how it felt. They had never held hands before and he didn’t think they would ever be that type of couple. But here and now, when it was just the two of them, somehow it felt right.

“If that’s what you need to do, I’ll support you 100%,” Robert told him.

“I know,” Aaron replied, and they shared a smile at the familiarity of those words.

The moment was broken by Liv crashing into the room; apparently back from seeing Gabby, which was where they had left her upon their return from Wales.

“What’s for tea? I’m starving,” she announced, and Aaron rolled his eyes.

“What else is new?” he asked, but his voice was laced with fondness.

Robert gave his hand a quick, gentle squeeze. “Takeaway?” When Aaron nodded, Robert used his free hand to get his phone from his pocket, then called Liv over to find out what food she wanted. And all the while, he never let go of Aaron’s hand.

*

A week later, Robert was waiting for him at a table in a quiet corner of the pub. Aaron had sent him a text saying he was on his way home, so he had a fresh pint waiting for his arrival.

Five minutes later his boyfriend walked through the door, spotting him within seconds. “Hey,” he said in a small voice as he sat down beside him.

“Hey, you,” Robert replied in that gentle voice that reminded Aaron he could tell him anything. “Thought you might be in need of a beer.”

“Yeah,” he smiled, picking up the glass and taking a sip. “Thanks.”

They sat in an easy silence for a few minutes, just drinking their pints. Robert had been waiting patiently in case Aaron decided to tell him anything about his meeting. He wasn’t expecting him to say what he did next, though. “I was talking about you today.”

The older man put down his drink, suddenly not trusting himself to keep a secure hold on it. “Oh?”

“My counsellor started going on about a ‘support system’. It’s the same bloke I used to go to after Jackson so he already knows about Mum, and Paddy and Adam. I mentioned Cain a bit because he’s been a lot better than he was back then. And then I told him about you.”

The look on Robert’s face was unreadable. “Uh oh,” he said, thinking momentarily about their past. Though he was fairly sure that wasn’t where Aaron was going with this. “Can I ask what you said?”

“I said you were a pillock,” he announced casually, and Robert coughed as the gulp of beer he was swallowing went down the wrong way.

“Thanks!” he laughed incredulously. Aaron was smirking.

“And then I said you’re not anymore. I told him you were the first one I told about…you know. I said I didn’t want to talk about the details of it with him; I had to say it to you, Mum and the police and that’s enough. But anyway, I told him how amazing you’ve been.”

Robert’s voice was quiet again. “I wouldn’t say that. It’s easy to be there for someone when you love them. There was never a question of doing anything else.”

Aaron smiled up at him, looking thoughtful. “He asked me who you were, you know. Asked if you were a friend. I said you’re my boyfriend, and then I realised it was the first time I’d called you that. I felt like I should have checked with you first or something.”

“Well I had hoped that’s what I am!” Robert teased, nudging him until he was laughing too. “Anyway, I didn’t check with you before I told that nurse you were my boyfriend.”

“What nurse?”

“It was when you were in hospital and I couldn’t find you. She wouldn’t tell me anything and I was worried sick. As soon as I lied that we were together she brought me straight to you.”

Aaron’s eyes had widened in shock; that was quite a big thing for Robert to do at the time. “Wow. So…how did that feel?” he asked him, remembering a similar experience he’d had the day Jackson had gone for an operation. As they had wheeled him to surgery Aaron had arrived with seconds to spare and had kissed him for anyone to see. There was once a time when he couldn’t imagine kissing a man out in the open like that.

“It felt like I wished it was true,” Robert told him, eyes piercing into Aaron’s intensely. “And I didn’t care if half the village overheard me and came back here to announce it. Although back then I’m sure you would have minded,” he added with a grin.

Aaron raised an eyebrow at him, chuckling. It was crazy how much had changed in just a few months. When he didn’t reply, Robert spoke again.

“So it went okay today?” 

He thought about it. “Yeah, I suppose.”

“I’m really proud of you.” Robert turned his head to give him a kiss, but Aaron was so startled by his words that he moved at the same time, meaning the other man’s lips landed just underneath his left eye instead.

“What was that?” he laughed out the words.

“I was trying to kiss you, obviously. Shall we try that again?”

This time Aaron didn’t move, waiting for him to make his move again. Robert took his face in his hands and kissed him on the nose; then on the forehead, and on each cheek. “Get off,” the younger man mumbled in embarrassment when he showed no signs of stopping.

“Really?” Robert checked as he finally met his lips with a smile. Aaron kissed him back fiercely, all awkwardness about their surroundings having vanished. They were rudely interrupted by Marlon clearing his throat.

“Er…just wondered if you wanted to order some food?” he asked, not meeting their eyes. The chef had been halfway over to their table by the time he’d realised they were…busy. He now wondered what had possessed him to carry on over. It would have been far less mortifying for all involved if he had just turned around and walked back to the kitchen.

“Not right now, Marlon,” Aaron managed to reply. He was sure his face had gone bright red. 

Marlon nodded and made to leave. “Right. Sorry. As you were.”

As soon as he was out of earshot, Robert burst out laughing. Aaron hit him lightly on the arm. “It’s not funny!”

“Oh come on, the look on his face!”

“Isn’t Vic working today?” Aaron asked then.

“Yeah…” Robert was confused.

“So you won’t be laughing when he goes and tells her what he’s just seen, will you? You’ll never hear the end of it! She’ll be going on about how cute we are or something, knowing her.”

“Ah.” Grimacing at the thought, he picked up his glass and downed the rest of his beer. “Drink up then, we’ll go somewhere else.”

And it was Aaron’s turn to laugh as he finished his drink in a hurry before following Robert out of the pub.

*

Two weeks went by and Aaron had been keeping up with the weekly counselling sessions, as well as visiting Chas every Saturday while she continued her treatment. Robert had even come in with him to see her once; it had all been remarkably civilised, but then they had already proved that they could tolerate each other these days.

She was doing well, and when Aaron had told her about going to therapy himself the relief was evident in her eyes. That afternoon Robert drove them home, and when he parked round the back of the pub Aaron put a hand on his arm to stop him from getting out of the car. 

“I wanted to ask you something,” he said quietly.

“Yeah?”

“It’s about my next counselling session. I was wondering if…” he stopped himself, looking away shyly.

“Aaron? It’s okay, whatever it is you can ask me anything. You know that. This is me, remember?”

Robert held out his hand and Aaron took it, trying to use it to draw enough strength to say what he wanted. “He said it would be a good idea to bring someone with me next time, if I wanted. Not for every session, just…apparently it helps, especially if the other person’s been there for a lot of the bad stuff.”

When Aaron had finished talking, Robert let go of his hand so he could reach up and hold his face instead. “Do you want me to be there?” he asked him outright.

“Will you?”

“Of course I will, Aaron.”

“Okay,” he replied, briefly putting his own hand over Robert’s that was still touching his cheek. “Getting to be a habit, this is,” he smiled into his touch, and Robert looked at where their hands were joined.

“What, holding your hand or touching your face?”

“Both.”

Neither of them moved. “Want me to stop doing it?” Robert asked, and Aaron shook his head straight away.

“No. You might have to let go so we can get out of the car, though.” Aaron’s phone buzzed then with a message from Adam. “Or not. We’re needed at the yard,” he said after reading the text. 

Robert sighed as they put their seatbelts back on and he started up the engine again. “So much for an afternoon to ourselves. Is Liv at Gabby’s till later?”

“Yeah, she’s staying over,” Aaron told him.

“I get you all to myself tonight, then.”

They were still grinning by the time they arrived at the scrapyard, Adam clocking the soppy looks on their faces immediately. “Lads if you’re going to be all over each other while we’re working, can you warn me first?” 

“Shut up and tell us what needs doing, will you,” Aaron rolled his eyes as Adam playfully threw one of his gloves at him.

Robert winked at his boyfriend as they put on their high-vis jackets. “Approaching for a kiss,” he announced loudly as he stood in front of Aaron, not even caring this time if word did get back to Vic. “Feel free to avert your eyes, Barton.”

*

Aaron sat next to Robert, waiting to be called in to see his counsellor. He was nervous, and he knew Robert was too. He was sitting up straight in his chair, looking all stiff and pale.

“Are you sure about this?” he asked him, starting to worry that it might be too much for him.

“Hmm?” It was clear Robert had been in a world of his own. “Yes I’m sure. I wouldn’t be here if I wasn’t.”

“You just seem a bit…on edge. I know this feels a bit weird; Robert, but it might be a good thing. It could help you as well as me. And believe me I never thought I’d have anything good to say about therapy.”

Robert frowned. “What do you mean? I’m alright, Aaron, honestly.”

Aaron just nodded. If he argued now it would only make the other man feel worse. At that moment his counsellor appeared and invited them into the room. He shook Robert’s hand and introduced himself as Mike, and they all sat down.

“So, let’s start as we do every week,” Mike began with an easy smile. “How’s things, Aaron?”

“Fine,” he answered, then amended his response, remembering that the word held little value during these kinds of conversations. “Not bad. I’d say I’ve had more good days than bad this week.”

“Well, that’s good to hear. There’s no concrete length of time to get over this.” For the next while, they talked about constructive ways to cope, particularly if Aaron was having a bad day where he might be tempted to hurt himself again. 

It didn’t go unnoticed when Robert’s face gave away his concern, and Aaron had to reassure him that he hadn’t come close to cutting for months now. But it was something he still had to watch out for.

About halfway through the session, Mike looked at Robert and asked him how he was doing. “Me? I’m okay,” he replied, confused. “I’m here to support Aaron.”

“And from what I’ve heard, you’ve done a lot of that over the past six months,” Mike said kindly. 

“Couldn’t get rid of him,” Aaron joked in agreement, before his voice softened. “And I didn’t want to either.”

“It must have been hard,” the counsellor continued. “Watching someone you love cope with something so unthinkable.”

“You can say the words. There’s no point just calling it ‘that thing that happened’. At least not today.” Aaron took a deep breath, feeling stronger because of the man sat by his side. “I was raped.”

Robert put a hand on his arm, meeting his gaze with tears in his eyes. The worry had returned to his face. 

“I’m okay,” Aaron told him gently. “I promise.”

“You don’t have to put your brave face on with me.”

“Neither do you, Robert.”

That seemed to hit a nerve. He tried to stop himself from crying but it was no use. He buried his face in his hands for a few moments, feeling pathetic. Without another word, Aaron pulled him to his chest and just held him there. Robert sobbed silently, his shoulders shaking with it.

“Sorry,” he said eventually after he had pulled himself together. “I don’t know where that came from.”

“I do,” Aaron remarked, trying to be subtle about wiping away a few tears of his own. “You bottle everything up, just like I do. And I’m the one always getting the telling off.”

Robert managed a small smile, nodding at him. Mike was now smiling at them both, which he found strange. He had half expected the man to be armed with a pad and paper, writing notes about their behaviour.

“Everyone feels better after a good cry,” the man said now. “That’s not therapist-speak, by the way. My mum always says it.”

“Well then,” said Aaron with a laugh. “I should be feeling amazing. I’ve been crying all year myself.” He glanced at his boyfriend again, satisfied when he gave him that lopsided grin reserved only for him. “So, do you? Feel any better, I mean?” 

“A bit. I just wish…I wish I could take away all the bad memories for you,” Robert admitted with a sigh. 

“You can’t, not properly. But you do make me forget sometimes.”

For the first time all day, Robert felt hopeful. If he could do that for Aaron, maybe he could work on giving him more happy memories until all the bad ones of the past were put to rest. He would never really forget them completely – how could he? – but one day he might be able to let them go.

When the counselling session was over, they took a slow walk back outside to the car. “Sorry if I embarrassed you in there,” Robert offered with a weak smile.

“Don’t be soft! You didn’t,” Aaron said in surprise. “I’m glad you’re here. Thanks for coming with me.”

“Any time. Hey, I’ve got something to ask you.”

“What?”

“Move in with me?”

Aaron’s mouth dropped open. “Wh…where did that come from?”

“It’s just being here today,” Robert explained. “It’s made me realise I don’t want to waste another second. I want to wake up with you every day.”

“That was so cheesy. But I want that too. What about Liv, though?”

They had reached Aaron’s car. He unlocked it quickly and they got in, waiting until the doors were closed before continuing the conversation. “She can fend for herself, can’t she?” When the younger man narrowed his eyes, he added, “I’m joking, Aaron! Of course she’ll come with us. I was thinking we could look for somewhere close by in the village. I wasn’t suggesting you move into Vic’s with me.”

Aaron launched forward in his seat and kissed him urgently, hands clinging onto Robert’s leather jacket for dear life. Robert wound his arms around the other man’s neck, deepening the kiss. When he pulled back suddenly, Aaron let out a moan at the loss of contact.

“You always hold on like you think I’m going to leave,” he noted with a smile. “Aaron, you know I’m not going anywhere, don’t you?”

“Yeah, I know. Still can’t help doing it, though.” His face was flushed from the heat of their car seat passion, even though all they had done was kiss.

“Doesn’t bother me, as long as you know I’m here for good. You’re stuck with me now.”

“Good,” Aaron was grinning. “Time for some new memories, yeah?”

“Oh, so your answer is definitely yes, then?” Robert checked with twinkling eyes.

“Did I not make myself clear? ‘Course it’s a yes!”

“Okay. So yeah, onto new memories then. Happy ones,” he promised firmly, closing the gap between them once again.


End file.
